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Tiger Woods’ Escalade is Pretty Jacked Up for a Low Speed Crash


The Florida Highway Patrol has released the full gallery of Tiger’s Fallen Escalade.  There is quite a bit of damage for a car that merely hit a fire hydrant.  Two windows are smashed out, no doubt so that Elin could save Tiger, as we were told, but yet the airbags did not deploy.  This must have been a special type of crash.  An accident in which the driver was so mangled, so harmed, that his wife had to smash out two different windows to save his dear life.  Clearly, he needed rescue assistance more than ever, as his stupid, faulty airbags never deployed.  That, or he wasn’t going very fast to begin with,  his wife was bullshit with him for smashing chicks up and down the PGA tour, so she beat him up, and when he tried to flee, she beat up his meddling car too.

Jalopnik has the entire gallery for your consideration

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