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Terrorists Responsible for Tiger Woods’ Infedelity

12/12/2009

Here we have Tiger Woods’ paramour Rachel Uchitel. Clearly this picture was snapped long before she morphed into a pout-lipped brunette with Ray-Bans for eyes.  The real fascination with this picture and,moreover,her former appearance is that her current and former aesthetics seem to be a direct representation of her lifestyle during each respective time.

Uchitel’s fiancée, James O’Grady was killed in the terrorist attacks at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001.

Obviously, his death was extremely tragic  and I am not making light of that situation.  What is fascinating, though, is the Sliding Doors scenario that  has unfolded since.

Had 9/11 never happened and O’Grady had lived, obviously the two would have been married.  Assuming O’Grady made a decent living for himself, it seems doubtful that Uchitel would have ever sought out club owner Jason Strauss for a job at Tao New York.  In a quick game of connect-the-dots, no club job, no meeting with Tiger, and thus, no infidelity or scandal!

I realize that Tiger was bound to cheat anyway, with or without Uchitel, but the reality is, at least, her life would have been different, though she doesn’t exactly seem to hate her place in the tainted limelight.

So to summarize, Osama bin Laden is entirely to blame for the entire Eldrick “Tiger” Woods sex scandal.

Elin Nordegren should have saved the club-wielding Cadillac assault for the bunkers and caves of Afghanistan.  Hey, at least there’s a $25 million reward for bin Laden’s capture.  That’s what we call F-U money.

This is her now, if  you aren’t already familiar.

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